As I sit to write, my mind becomes blank just like this page. I am not in the right frame of mind for the last couple of months since my father’s hospitalization to Covid-19 and his subsequent demise. This incident has taken a big toll on my mental well being.

If I were to look back, my struggles with mental health started sometime in 2016. But I realized it as a problem that I needed help to get better only in 2018. From then on its been an up and down journey with psychiatrist, counsellors, medication and last but not the least and most important of all, self-help and support.

It has taken me quite sometime to understand the importance of wellness and well-being in terms of physical and emotional health. After taking for granted my health for a long time I woke up one day to anxiety. It slowly crept up on me. I would jump when the door bell rang. My heart gave out whenever the doors were opened and shut. I am a fairly decent swimmer and I just avoided going to the pool. And on the days I went, I kept to the shallow end where the water is not even 4 feet deep and I started holding on to the wall. I feared the water.

I hadn’t realized these were anxiety attacks and they are playing on my nerves. I was slowly slipping away from myself and losing control of my body and mind. I went to the doctor saying I could hear my heart beat loudly and was prescribed the medication for high pulse rate. Then one thing led to other and I was under a whole lot of medicines for various complaints. But my condition were yet to improve.

The reason I am sharing this with you is because it is not easy to diagnose mental health issues. We overlook the most important part of our health. We take it for granted that we are alright. Its good to be alright. Its good to be doing well, yet we could have underlying issues. It can escape us at times.

I have everything. A wonderful family, supportive husband, kids and parents. A beautiful home, great friends and extended family. Yet I was slipping into depression and prone to anxiety attacks. Couple of years ago I would have refused to even consider that I could be having depression. Thanks to my friend who persuaded me and coaxed me to accept that I needed help , that I saw a psychiatrist. What the tests revealed to me was a shocker. I was told I needed immediate psychiatric care under hospitalization. From then on began my topsy turvy journey of wellness and mental well-being.